Today we come to celebrate the passing of a man that got a late start in life. Shawn was a man devoted to his wife and Kids for he knew how important it was to train them how to love others.

Shawn did not always do it right you might say that he really did it wrong all the time. The one thing he came to understand was that he was really not a failure but a total success. The reason that he came to know this was that he held to the thought “it is not how you start, it is how you finish.”

He realized that just like when you start to learn anything new you are never good at it. But in time if you commit yourself to the study and application of your knowledge of any subject you love then it will become part of you. This is why on March 29^th the year 1994 he gave his life over to the care and watch of Jesus Christ. At this point there was no turning back for him.

    You can say it was a long and hard journey to getting clean and sober but after seven years the Lord blessed him with the meeting of a wonderful and beautiful woman named Kristi Marie Oberle. If you were to say that she took his breath away it would be an understatement. They married on May 11^th 2001 with many hopes and dreams.

    They only after one month became pregnant with Chloe Lynn Thornton. She would be for Shawn the showing of just how much His God Jesus had forgiven him of all his trespasses. Then only twenty one moths later they were blessed with Zechariah Christopher Thornton. This was a pleasure to their hearts to have a son.

    Then while Shawn was working over three hundred miles away from home the two felt a leading by God to try and have another baby. They conceived a child and found out they were with child while on vacation at Shawn’s parent’s house in Arizona. It was a shock and surprise. It was not long after returning home that the two separated from each other. They had just gone through so much in the seven years that it had strained their hopes and dreams so much.

    They were not sure if they could move forward with each other. The world they lived in was in such trouble and she had just acquired a job at Wells Fargo and Shawn had been put into a new career his own business by his mother Christy. The company ACN a worldwide direct selling telecommunications company endorsed by Donald Trump, which was at that time one of the world’s wealthiest men. The future was very unsure for the both of them but one thing they did know. God was still with the both of them and that if they both submitted to His will things might work out.

All Shawn wanted was for their hopes and dreams to be realized one more time so that God would be glorified in them. But the most daunting thought on Shawn’s mind that he would go down in history as a man that failed at everything he did. But he came to remember that if he did not stay down and listen to all the voices that would tell him he could not succeed in life. He had to only listen to those that saw the gifts in him and believe he would succeed in life if he NEVER GAVE UP! Because he knew the word of God said “As a man thinks in his heart so is he!”

So he made a resolve that no matter what he would not stop until he had realized the dream set in his heart by God to be a man after God own heart. Even if that meant he would fail but always keep getting up even after he fell down. He knew that there was no other place to go other than God and not to take advice from people who were not where he wanted to be. Because by listening to them they would one more time steal his dream if he bought into their ideas for his life.

    It was a long and hard journey he would say at the end. But a worthwhile one because he had accomplished everything and more than he thought he could. He kept saying that it was because of the revelations he had had while separated from Kristi and the kids. He would say it was a hard time but know in his heart that God was in control of it all that the outcome would be great and it was. The kids grew up to become very successful people that changed the world as we know it today. As for Shawn and Kristi they lived and one night while laying in each other’s arms went home quietly to be together with the Lord so many years before had drew them back together to Love each other more than any other person on the face of the planet.

    There kids would say for many years after their deaths that their parents showed them how to live life without fear of man but in fear of God and that they owed all they ever knew about God to their Mother and Father. So as we look at the lives of this family we have to ask ourselves “How will we affect the world we live in?” it will not be an easy task but when looking back we all can see how God gave us all the strength to live out our lives for his glory

At twelve, I took my first real drink of Canadian Club Whiskey and it was good. This was the start of the long downward spiral to the gutter. As I grew up my family life was not the greatest my father was very emotionally abusive. This was a contributing factor of why I kept in this lifestyle. At such an early age of drinking, I learned to use substances to cope with the upsets in my life. Using alcohol and drugs to cope with life’s problems, created many more problems. Because I would get into trouble, such as, coming home at midnight when my parents had told me come home at ten. Then I would go out and drink again because I felt bad and make the problem worse. In high school I had meet a girl at my work that was two years older than I was. This created a problem, because she had friends two years older than her and could get liquor. On school nights, I would stay out late and be drinking and not go to school the next day. I fought with my parents all the time. My father and I would even get into physical fights and blood would fly! It caused so much chaos in the high school I dropped out three months into my senior year. I did not graduate because I was to wrap up into my substance abuse and girl friend. Therefore, it progressed on and I got into speed or Meth. This caused my downward spiral to go even faster. My father kicked me out of his house, and I moved in with my Grandmother. She tried to help me but by this time, I was too far into my addiction to see that I needed help. I went on a two-year drinking and drug binge. I would be loaded everyday and every night. Towards the end of the binge of two years, I meet a woman that I moved to Lake Havasu City Arizona with. We moved there and I just got even more involved with the wrong people. It was a short time and I was arrested for Meth use. I was locked up in jail for five months and five years probation. At first, I was very unhappy about all these events because no one wants to be caught, but now I see how it was to my benefit. I went through a program called Shock Incarceration. This was a three-month military boot camp type program. I got my GED and a food service certificate in this program to help me when I got out of jail to get work. It was the opposite from where I had been while using and drinking. Being taught to respect others had its difficulties. It was hard at first I did not want to respect other people. I had the idea that the world owed me, and this was cause of what I had gone through as a child. However, what I learned was no one owed me anything at all. Yes, there were reasons why I did what I did but now I was an adult and I had to be responsible for all my actions not just some. I thought that I was going to be a drug user for the rest of my life and that was not it at all. There was another plan.

The effects of substance abuse in my life were father reaching than I ever thought. Nevertheless, when I decided to make a change and get help to stick with it my life got better. I see now how the party had ended and no one had told me, so I kept going. Today because I do not drink, I can hold down a job. I work over seventy hours a week while going to school online. I am responsible for a family. I have a wife and two children. Today I see the value in life, whereas before I just did not care and was angry with everyone and everything. Being sober has given me back the ability to understand situations in life that before would make no sense. I can love people for who they are and not for what I can get out of them. I can be a friend to someone today and keep him or her as a friend. Using substances to cope with life at some point will not work anymore. Just trying to keep up the false front that you what everyone to think you are ok is hard. I do not have to be ashamed anymore for whom I am, what I do, and that is all because I am sober.

The basics of operating a scraper are fairly easy. Getting up into a scraper is a feat in itself. These machines stand 14 feet tall from the ground to the seat. As you climb up the steel latter there they are the four levers to control this monster of a machine. The first lever controls the Can; this is where all the dirt is held. The second lever is the Apron; this holds all the dirt in the Can. The third lever is the Crowder; this pushes out all of the dirt. The last lever is the cushion hitch control; this makes for somewhat of a softer ride. As you drive the scraper into the cut, this is where you are getting the dirt you will open up the Apron, lowering the Can into the ground the dirt will start rolling into the Can. When you see the back of the Can being filled you will start closing the Apron to hold the dirt in the can. This whole process should take no longer than 30 seconds. Then after the first Scraper in filled the second scraper will take the slack out of the bail and be pulled through the cut. This is with a push pull scraper. After you have gotten your load of dirt you then turn on the cushion hitch for the softer ride. Then you will drive to the fill this is where different foundations are built different fills will also have different compactions, this means how hard the ground is. They will check this by percent of how hard the ground is. On roads you will have between a 90 and 95% compaction. The reason is when it rains water will run through the dirt and wash it away if it is not compacted tight. On houses it is not as tight because there is not as much weight on the foundation. So you will have an 80 to 90% compaction for houses. The compaction is very important, because it is the difference between a house sliding off a hill, or a road having sink holes that can cause accidents.

These are just a couple other things you need to know when operating a scraper. For me the learning never stops. It has taken many long days and hours to learn how to operate a scraper. The learning process never stops. There are so many different types of materials to move. There can be rock that you have to blast with dynamite, clay, sand, mud, and many others. Each of these materials load different and lay down different. This is why it takes a person with a good sense of depth perception. That is why it also is good to have guys that have done this for many years teach you how to do this type of job.

I really love my job at other times I wish I had gone to school a long time ago. But I have been on some very big mountains and watch them come down and build foundations for houses for people to live in and I have built roads where we drive on to get to various places. It has been a long and hard 10 years of operating, but it has been the means that I am able to support my family. It took me about five years to really feel like I knew what I was doing. The one thing I love about operating heavy equipment is the pay check. The one thing I dislike is the constant beating my body gets and the pain I am in all day and after work. I have enjoyed helping other guys learn how to operate these monster machines. In all it could be worse I could be working at McDonalds flipping hamburgers.

    Over 14 years ago the question of identity I would not have cared about. But today it is the most important part of my life. This is how I am able to function as a productive member of our society. There are many changes that I have made in my life because of this one simple question “Who are you?” I am proud to say that I know who I am today and can clearly articulate this fact. It is the central theme of why I do the things I do in life. I think that everyone should at some point in their life ask themselves this question. It may truly help people to make better decisions, because they will have a moral compass.

    For me from a very young age I remember my Father putting me down and thinking highly of me. So I grew up always thinking that the hammer was going to drop if I messed up. This contributed to the early stages of a bad identity. With the feelings that I was not smart and Dad did not like me I started drinking and using drugs. As far as my identity from the beginning it was ok, I thought I was a good person. But as time went on and the problem got worse I thought of myself as a worthless, good for nothing, jerk. This was because all of my actions enforced these thoughts. I would stay out late and drink and steal, having sex outside of marriage but at that time it really did not matter I had no moral compass. It was in the month of March on the 29 this year it was Easter and I was arrested and sent to the Kingman county jail. It only reinforced that I was an uncontrollable mess up. There were other plans for me. About a week prior to my arrest I cursed God and Misty said to me, “You better not say that about God!” I replied, “there is no God!’ so then when I was in a cell with 5 other guys trying to be Christians “I knew there was a God!” The life changing words were

(Heb 12:5-6) you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly, or faint when you are reproved by Him; 6 for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and punishes every son whom He receives.

At this point I knew that I had better listen to what was being said to me, because I had messed my life up to this point so far. After this it took some time to really change all the years that I had done bad things to change what I thought about myself. I started working with a mentor reading thought the bible so that I could understand who I now was. Jack helped me through all of the doubts that I had really changed because, I had believed in Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. The main scripture verses that really helped me to

(2 Corinthians 5:17-19) Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. 18 Now everything is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed the message of reconciliation to us.

My identity is rooted in these words. Believing these words has helped me to act in a different way. Before I would only think of myself now I look out to help other people. I now have a moral standard to live by that I did not have before I believed in Jesus Christ for saving me. Today I can say that I truly know who I am.    After living the way I wanted to for 21 years I had to come to grips with what I had been doing. My identity had been rooted in too many bad things that I had done or was thinking of doing. It took about 8 to 9 years before I really could say that I really believed that I was different. Now that I do believe that I am different it makes it easier to do the right things. These are the words that have made me the person I am today.

     (Eph 4:17-20) Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer walk as the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their thoughts. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them and because of the hardness of their hearts. 19 They became callous and gave themselves over to promiscuity for the practice of every kind of impurity with a desire for more and more. 20 But that is not how you learned about the Messiah

    To change your Identity it is no less that hard work. It has taken many hours and days working together with my mentor. He has helped me to see just how it works and the practical application of the Word of God in my life. Today I thank God for the change in my character and life.

    I was rescued from the grip of alcohol and drug addiction in 1994 at the age of 25. I had been for years living the way I wanted to. I stared drinking at age 12, then got sober at age 25, so I never grew up emotional or mentally
because of my chemical/alcohol abuse. The consequence of having done this was poor choices, self-centeredness, and a general attitude that everything was about me. It was not until I was arrested for a DUI in 1994 that I came to believe that I had a problem and needed help.

    After getting out of jail in Arizona in August of 1995 I moved back to Orange County California, in the city of Orange with my parents. Two months after I arrived in California I met my 12 step sponsor, Jack. I have worked with Jack for over 12 years on being sober. He has helped me to learn how to live life on life’s terms. I have gone through various trials while getting sober and now after 14 years I can say “I can live without alcohol and drugs, one day at a time.” Therefore, I have dedicated myself to helping others trying to get sober.

    I moved to Nebraska in 2007 and found Capital City Christian Church to attend. I first met John Hall in church at the adult Sunday school class. That day we were asked to share how we came to know Jesus Christ. So I shared my story of addiction and how I have gotten better. That through my getting arrested I became aware that my life was out of control. I also shared that for me it was life or death to get sober. I determined that I didn’t want to ever go back to jail. I can only thank the Lord Jesus for the opportunity to have a second chance at this life drug free.

John approached me after study and asked if I could help him.

He said, “I think that I have a problem with my drinking.”

So I asked him, “Why do you think you have problem?”

John stated that he would bring alcohol to bible study and

so I said, “Do you think that other people bring alcohol to study?”

He replied “well I am not really sure I don’t know really.”

My response, “NO, that is not normal!”

It can be very hard because the normal Chemical addict is a manipulator and a liar. It can be hard when people are in this place; they do not think they are in that bad of shape. We exchanged phone numbers and setup a time to meet and discuss how things would work with a recovery program. I know that he did not know what he was asking of me. I have worked with a number of different people over the last 10 years. I can see the ones that are ready to do what it takes to finally make the total life change that is required for sobriety. It no less than a 110% effort on the persons part. The main goal is to teach a person like John to become disciplined because all addicts lead an undisciplined life. This exercise can be a very hard one for every addict. We do not want to be told what to do. But the saying in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous “your best thinking got you here.”

The first step is to get a sponsor and call your sponsor every day for 30 days, and go to 90 AA meetings in 90 days. I know it seems a bit excessive, but the reason for this is that we need to learn how to take directions from someone else. It also makes the person responsible for their program and staying sober. A person can’t be pressured into the program they have to see they have a problem. I also asked John to get a backpack, pad of paper, and his bible. I took his phone calls for about a month. Then come to find out after about a month he was still drinking. This was the reason he procrastinated getting and doing the other stuff I asked him to do.

I got the excuses “I am a slow learner.”

I replied, “Well that may be so, but how long is it going to take?”

You’re the one who asked me for help?”

I know what I had to do with him.

Tell him, “When you think you want to be serious about being sober give me a call.”

He replied, “I just do not think my problem is that bad.”

I know to the average person that has never had a problem with Chemical addiction it seems harsh, but it saves people like me and John’s lives.

I have learned that when I work with addicts I can’t always trust what they say from the start. Most of us want something for nothing. It takes nothing less than everything we have to make the change in thinking and behavior for long term sobriety. It is extremely hard to make a complete 180 degree turn when you have become addict to drugs and alcohol. The benefits of making the change are less poor choices and becoming a productive member of society. Now I have a disciplined life I work to support may family. I am married and have two wonderful children. I intend to keep trying to help people come to the understanding they have a choice. The choice is that they do not have to live that way anymore. I have a lot of gratitude for my sponsor Jack having taken the time to help me to have the life I do now.

    I was rescued from the grip of alcohol and drug addiction in 1994. I had been for years living the way I wanted to. I stared drinking at age 12, and then got sober at age 25. So I never grew up emotional or mentally. The cause was from all of my chemical use and self medicating. The consequence of having done this was poor choices, self-centeredness, and a general attitude that everything was about me. It was not until I was arrested that I came to believe that I had a problem and needed help.

    After getting out of jail in Arizona I moved back to California with my parents. Two months after I arrived in California I met my sponsor. I have worked with Jack for over 12 years on being sober. He has helped me to learn how to live life on life’s terms. I have gone through various trials while getting sober and now after 14 years I can say “I can live without alcohol and drugs.” Therefore, I have dedicated myself to helping other people trying to get sober also. It can be very hard because the normal Chemical addict is a manipulator and a liar. It can be very hard to know if what you are doing for them is even helping.

    I first met John Hall in church at the adult Sunday school class. That day we were asked to share how we came to know Jesus Christ. So I shared my story of addiction and how I have gotten better. That through my getting arrested I became aware that my life was out of control. I also shared that for me it was life or death to get sober. I determined that I didn’t want to ever go back to jail. I can only thank the Lord Jesus for the opportunity to have a second chance at this life Drug free. John approached me after study and asked if I could help him. He said “I think that I have a problem with my drinking.” So I asked him, why do you think you have problem? John stated that he would bring alcohol to bible study and so I said, “Do you think that other people bring alcohol to study?”He replied “well I am not really sure I don’t know really.” My response, “NO, that is not normal!” it can be hard when people are in this place in their mind and do not think they are that bad. We exchanged phone numbers and setup a time to meet and discuss how things would work with recovery program. I know that he did not know what he was asking of me.

    I have worked with a number of different people over the last 10 years. I can see the ones that are ready to do what it takes to finally make the total life change that is required for sobriety. It no less than a 110% effort on the persons part. The main goal is to teach a person like John to become disciplined because all addicts lead an undisciplined life. This exercise can be a very hard one for every addict. We do not want to be told what to do. But the saying in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous “your best thinking got you here.”

    I told John, first, “you need to call me every day for 30 days and go to 90 AA meetings in 90 days.” I know it seems a bit excessive, but the reason for this is that we need to learn how to take directions from someone else. It also makes the person responsible for their program and staying sober. A person can’t be pressured into the program they have to see they have a problem. I also asked John to get a backpack, pad of paper, and his bible. I took his phone calls for about a month. Then come to find out after about a month he was still drinking. He also procrastinated getting and doing the other stuff I asked him to do.    I got the excuses “I am a slow learner.” I replied, “Well that may be so, but how long is it going to take for you to just do what I ask? You’re the one who asked me for help?” I know what I had to do with him and that was to tell him, “When you think you want to be serious about being sober give me a call.” I know to the average person that has never had a problem with Chemical addiction it seems harsh, but it saves people like me and John’s lives.

    I have learned that when I work with addicts I can’t always trust what they say from the start. Most of us want something for nothing. It takes nothing less than everything we have to make the change in thinking and behavior for long term sobriety. It is extremely hard to make a complete 180 degree turn when you have become addict to drugs and alcohol. The benefits of making the change are less poor choices and becoming a productive member of society. Now I have a disciplined life I work to support may family. I am married and have two wonderful children. I intend to keep trying to help people come to the understanding they have a choice. The choice is that they do not have to live that way anymore. I have a lot of gratitude for my sponsor Jack having taken the time to help me to have the life I do now.

This is my 1^st draft of my current paper I am writing in my ENG980 class at SCC in Lincoln, Ne.

Thank you for reading.

Shawn Thornton